Domestic violence and children
Your children are listening and watching sometimes.
It is a myth to think that yelling and screaming, pushing, shoving, throwing objects, and the gap between parents affects their children.
Consider the perspective of the child. The children are totally dependent from their parents for the safety and security. With violence between the parents, these children are not only not protected, but their source of safety and security is now undermined. What was to be their source of security and safety now very people from whom the children must be protected.
Even when parents believe the child is not a witness, they witness area. You hear it from her room, they are out of sight behind closed doors, they are sometimes on foot or on top of the stairs. They stand guard, not knowing what or how to defend their parents.
Children are shocked when their parents fight. Even if not in the room, they hear the Shouts and screams and falls and hits. Witness broken objects, holes in walls, not to mention bruises, black eyes and bloody noses. Her fear is overwhelming, and they carry with them long after the violent event. The thoughts pursue both their dreams and waking life. You room at school, not concentrate, and about the memories taken to parental violence and fear. She wanders mind to think how their parents to stop violence, or how to protect one from the other.
Incapable to tolerate the upset some children, especially young teenagers to make their friends. They discuss the traumatic events too slow, leaking a little longer and a little more. The friends begin and the feeling of fear in her friends. The fear is palpable. Many of the young friends, not knowing what to do can tell a teacher or a Parent.
The child whose parents are violent is growing the secret exit alarm. Some who can not contain itself and its anxiety about drugs, alcohol, Promiscuity or self-mutilation resort to resolve their tensions.
If you are in an abusive relationship, seek help. Women can call for women's shelters. Further, even if some people are afraid of the Child Protective Services, they can still refer you to counseling services for themselves and / or your children.
If you are an adult, which has become a child, do not fall prey to the veil of secrecy. It is secret, that to such behavior continue. Call Child Protective Services and deploy do the best for the child how things to support. Verily, to stop the violence and it is probably not without Intervention not more. Further, parents and children need support and advice to understand how this problem developed, and their respective roles and more appropriate means of conflict resolution learn.
If no child's play Protective Services, you must call the police. Intervening. Again, do not hesitate you. A criminal act is committed and someone is attacked and children as witnesses to the assault suffering their own traumas. As a witness of parental violence directly and indirectly before, during or after a Form of emotional and psychological abuse of the child.
Children whose parents are too violent behavior themselves, are never able to comfortably until long after the violence ends rest.
Accept the responsibility to stop domestic violence. Do not let it continue when it comes to your attention.
About the Author
Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
(905) 628-4847
gary@yoursocialworker.com
http://www.yoursocialworker.com
Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert on child development, parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and access recommendations, social work and an expert for the purpose of giving a critique on a Section 112 (social work) report. Call him for your next conference and for expert opinion on family matters. Services include counselling, mediation, assessment, assessment critiques and workshops.
